09 Apr 2020 17:23:33
I'm looking for some handy tips and advice! It would appear that I can no longer put off that which is inevitable. Any day soon I fear that I may have to strike up some kind of a conversation with my wife! Any pointers would be much appreciated.

1.) 09 Apr 2020
09 Apr 2020 17:59:13
Ask her how her day has been, she will either laugh or she will not stop talking. 😁.

2.) 09 Apr 2020
09 Apr 2020 18:25:16
They this mate. always works for me!
1="Is that right love? "
"
2="That's right love you tell'em! "
3="I don't blame you love" (cue stern face)
4"Do I really have to my precious? "
5"Ill definitely do that tomorrow dearest" (cue smirk)
6="yes that's definitely on my to do list! " (accompanied with an enthusiastic thumbs up)
7="Don't you worry love I'll give him what for" ( cue pointing finger)
"Seriously love? " (cue inquisitive face)
8="Dont worry love, it will get sorted"
(see number 6!)
9="I don't believe you love!? " (cue gasp! )
10 = This is the best one!
"Who said that? Come here! What am I going to do with you, you daft woman! "
(Cue 2 tut's, then hug! )
😉😉😉👍👍👍.

3.) 09 Apr 2020
09 Apr 2020 19:41:04
Its best when they say"are you deaf i'm talking to you" don't respond till you get the elbow in the ribs😁😁.

4.) 09 Apr 2020
09 Apr 2020 20:30:40
Daftest question "have you farted? ".
And when they leave the living room to do dinner and shout"what you turned that over for i was watching that"
They can see through walls but the most annoying thing is they can see right through us and that's why beer was invented. 🤣🤣🤣🍻🍻🍻.

5.) 09 Apr 2020
09 Apr 2020 22:42:16
I can see some divorces on the horizon ,some very bad boys on here !
CARLO

6.) 09 Apr 2020
09 Apr 2020 23:25:52
Says carlo have you ever had this one?
Oh your off to football again.
So your going to dissapear at 11 and what time does it start?
When will you be back?
Dont tell me?
You can't let the lads down you can't be the first to leave the pub afterwards.
Dont come in drunk either i'm not in the mood?
Well that's one thing less to worry about 🤣🤣
You get home and the first words aren't "did you win? " No its what time do you call this?
They sit at home while you go out all week to put food on the table and you go out to the match on a saturday and they still want you to clock in and out🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

7.) 10 Apr 2020
10 Apr 2020 09:42:33
To be fair Red Sgetty, what with no football or pubs, I ended up talking to my good lady one evening. turns out she’s quite a nice person 🤣🤣
Hope everyone is keeping well, it would appear so with the humour of this thread!

8.) 10 Apr 2020
10 Apr 2020 10:23:45
Ff79. If you're getting that off the good lady when you go to a match then you're with the wrong woman.

9.) 10 Apr 2020
10 Apr 2020 10:38:51
Ever thought of taking her FF ?
CARLO

10.) 10 Apr 2020
10 Apr 2020 11:10:37
Football is man time i go there to get away from the women.
Holidays and gardens and fine wine and eating are my hobbies with her indoors. 😁😁.

11.) 10 Apr 2020
10 Apr 2020 11:16:52
What about when you get back from the match and you walk in at 10 pm.
"Look at the state of you"
"Dont think your coming to bed with me you stink of beer"
So you put the tv on and she shouts down the stairs 'you can turn that down as well"
You sit back down and she shouts"you can turn that light off as well its shinning into the bedroom "
Eventually you lie down on the settee put your favourite chanel on and loosen your trousers 10 minutes passes and she shouts"i know what your doing down there you know?
Thats the third packet of crisps you just opened "🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

12.) 11 Apr 2020
11 Apr 2020 08:34:49
Brilliant 79. No matter how bright or inteligent your wife may be never try to understand womans logic. Its like trying to work out infinity or the end of space. It will screw your mind.